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Imperial Funnies Filk Songs To Humour Index A filk song is either an original song of fannish or amusing nature or a song that has the words rewritten to be amusing or, well, fannish. I have two filk songs here, one written by a good friend of mine, Craig Hilton, and one written by myself.

Take a Walk on the Dark Side
I'm A Jedi (And I'll whine if I want to)

TAKE A WALK ON THE DARK SIDE
(A filk song by Craig Hilton archon@ois.com.au)
To the tune of "Take a Walk on the Wild Side"

Annikin was hungry for power.
The teachings of the Jedi all gone sour.
Back in black now with helmet, cloak,
And he'll kill his own family for a joke,
I said Hey, Darth, take a walk on the Dark Side.
I said Hey, Vader, take a walk on the Dark Side,
And the Imperial troops go
Du dudu dudu du dudu, du dudu dudu du dudu,
Du dudu dudu du dudu, du dudu dudu du dudu,
Duuu...

Simple farmboy dreaming of the wars,
Packed his bags to join the Rebel cause.
Now what's the good of some noble plan
When you can be the Emperor's right-hand man?
I said Hey, Luke, take a walk on the Dark Side.
Come on, Skywalker, walk with me on the Dark Side,
And the Imperial troops go...
(etc.)

Pretty little princess 'til the day
She lost it all, blown it all away.
She was pushed too hard 'til they made her cry
"You killed my planet. Prepare to die."
I said Hey, Leia, take a walk on the Dark Side.
Use the force, Leia. Hit 'em hard with the Dark Side,
and the Imperial troops go...
(etc.)

Obi Wan Kenobi called the tune,
Manipulating who was killed by whom.
Now, what's the difference between advice
And a load of lousy, low-down lies?
You rat, Ben! You belong on the Dark Side!
Try it, why doncha?...
(etc.)

Yoda taught the Jedi all he knew -
"Adventure and excitement's not for you."
Well I may be the first to let you know,
But you'd make a bloody boring show.
Get real, creep. Check it out on the Dark Side.
I mean, honestly! Even Lucas needs the Dark Side,
Don't we all?...
Du dudu dudu du dudu, du dudu dudu du dudu,
Du dudu dudu du dudu, du dudu dudu du dudu,
...fade out to end...

I'm a Jedi (and I'll whine if I want to)

Lyrics 1997 A. Pronovost. Sung to 'It's my party', one of those neat old fifties songs.

CHORUS:

I'm a Jedi and I'll whine if I want to,
Whine if I want to, whine if I want to,
You would whine too if it happened to you.

Nobody knows where my daddy has gone,
Ben said that he died in the war,
Now I know that Vader's my dad,
Why wasn't I told this before?!

CHORUS

I'm off on Dagobah, learnin' the Force,
'Do or do not, there's no try.',
My friends are in danger, I must leave,
Or they'll most certainly die!

CHORUS

Vader is here, and I know it's a trap,
We fight and he chops off my hand,
I'll not join him, so down I fall,
But I have nowhere to land!

CHORUS, fade to end

Back to the Funny Stuff.

Lyrics 1997 A. Pronovost.
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